Translate

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Trying new things

With the heat of summer kicking into high gear, we're finding more reasons to use the grill. Why heat up the house more than necessary?
Yesterday we had grilled portabello mushrooms covered in mozzarella cheese and grilled onions. All served on a toasted kaiser roll with sliced Roma tomatoes rounding out the meal. 
My wife and daughter have been trying new recipes that taste good and keep the house from getting warmer than it has to. We just had the A/C fixed again guys, we're going easy on it.
Tonight it's rice and ka-bobs with salad.
No doubt about it, we're eating healthier. Pausing for a moment, I tried to remember the last time I had fast food. It's been a few months at least.
Most of the time we eat at home and cook our meals ahead of time.
Last week my wife cooked a couple of chicken breasts, then froze them. Later in the week when we wanted a casserole or quesadillas, we popped one out, chopped it up and served a wonderful dinner.
I don't run out of steam around 3 in the afternoon like I used to and I'm feeling pretty good.
I've always felt Asian cuisine got it right. Heavy on the veggies, a little less starch and light on the meat.
I like a steak just as much as the next guy, but I don't need that very often. I'm really happier with eating smart. Those marinated ka-bobs were excellent over rice. I'm going to have to get some new salad dressings however.
When my friends are being diagnosed with everything ranging from diabetes to cancer, I wonder what I'm doing right. Perhaps this is one of those things. It is my hope I'm setting a good example for my children by eating healthy. Or as my wife will point out, I have a healthy appetite.
For those of you interested:
Smoked Portobello mushroom burgers
  • 4 large Portobello mushrooms 4 to 5 in. across
  • 3/4 cup of marinade. This can be anything from Yoshida sauce to a marinade for beef
  • 1 onion, peeled and sliced into 1/2 rounds
  • 4 oz. mozzarella, thinly sliced
  • 1 large tomato, thinly sliced
  • 4 tlbs. melted butter
  • 4 large kaiser rolls
  • Pickles, lettuce, mayo, mustard, ketchup for serving
Wipe the mushroom caps clean with a damp paper towel. Remove the stems.
Put the mushrooms and the onion slices into a resealable bag along with the marinade. Let marinade refrigerated for 4 to 6 hours. Drain. You can refrigerate the marinade and reuse if desired. it did not touch any meat, so we're good.
Make sure the grill is good and smoking, a medium-low heat. 225 degrees.
Arrange the mushrooms gill side down and onion slices on the grill for about 30 minutes.
Increase the heat to about 350 and flip the mushrooms gill side up. Cook mushrooms and onions for another 15 to 20 minutes or until the mushrooms are tender. It's okay if the onions are a little crunchy. When the mushrooms are almost done, top each with 1/4 of the cheese. Brush the cut sides of the rolls with the melted butter. Grill them cut side down, for a few minutes to toast them up.
Bottom half of the rolls on a plate. Cheese covered mushrooms on the bottom roll. Top with the onions or tomatoes and condiments of your choice.
Oh my. Fan-freaking-tastic.

 

Saturday, June 29, 2013

What's going on in the world?

A friend of mine posted that he just completed a 25 mile bike run. Way to go, Jason. With the temps expected to be around 104 degrees F (40 degrees C), I warned him to take plenty of water and do his run early in the morning before the heat builds up.
I remember biking all over El Paso in the full heat of summertime as a kid. There is no way I'd do it now.
Think about it: 100-101 degrees in August in the desert 20 years ago, that's tricky enough. 104 and it isn't even July yet.
And just so you know, I did 20 mile biking runs back in the 80's and 90's. They weren't easy, but I did them. I wouldn't dare do them now. The heat is too much of a killer. 
Climate deniers, you're talking out your ass.
My parents used to grow a vegetable garden all while I was growing up. I complained and did the teenage mocking thing then, but now I find myself putting a garden in (when the budget allows.) Right now I've got herbs and peppers growing. When it gets cooler in September I might put in some tomatoes and zucchini.
Think about what I just said. In July and August it's too hot to grow anything. When some yahoo says 'It's a cycle thing the planet is going through.' I put that right along side 'A woman's body has a way of shutting pregnancy down.' A bunch of BS from someone who doesn't know what they're talking about. I'm finding myself calling Bullshit on a bunch of things lately.

They're putting another Wal-Mart in down the street from my neighborhood. My first thought was, 'Now things are going downhill.'
Have I shopped at Wal-Mart? Yes, of course I have. More and more often however, I'm finding reasons not to shop there.
Austin has a slogan, and it goes like this: 'Keep Austin Weird.'
After seeing the humor in that, I took a deeper look.
Not only is Austin the state capitol, but it has a more vibrant college community. There are more mom and pop shops per square mile than any other city I've visited. Don't believe me?
Don't get me wrong, if I could, I'd live in Austin. There is nothing more fun than walking down sixth street during one of the many music festivals going on through the summer.
Voyager I and II are set to leave the heliosheath, or heliopause, of our solar system. For the scientifically challenged, that's about as far out as you can get. If you can imagine a bubble generated by our sun. The Voyager ships are in the bubble's filmy outermost layer. Beyond that is where interstellar space begins and the sun has no more influence via gravity or magnetic particles. Voyager I will drift towards another star, AC+79 3888. It will come within 1.6 billion miles more or less... in 40,000 years. Voyager II will come close to Ross 248 in about 296,000 years.
These are humanity's ambassadors. Long after you and I are dust, these machines will be the equivalent of messages in a bottle for other races. What gives me the most hope is the gold discs they contain. Languages change over time. Mathematics does not.
In addition to the recordings of greetings in many languages, there are numerous messages in binary including the 14 closest pulsars from planet Earth with the times in which they emit bursts. Space faring races can deduce where our solar system lies from that. The fact that it was done mathematically only encourages me to think there is hope for the human race. 
Knowing humans the way I do, I wouldn't be at all surprised if we beat the Voyagers to their destinations. Think about that.
 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Not a man or machine, just something in between

Talking with a friend one day and the epiphany hit me: I'm a cyborg.
Science has (with varying degrees of success.) replaced organs, bones, hip and knee joints, eyes and ears. Sometimes a video comes across my desk that features a man with a prosthetic limb that functions. Hands with fingers that open and close.
Having been the recipient of some of that technology, the question comes to mind. We have the technology to do this, should we do this? While I'm grateful for the 14 years I have had my hearing partially restored, the last two weeks have been without my BTE. (There's a one month wait to get into the audiologist. I won't see them until July 16th.)
So far I can say things are a little different, but nothing has been impossible to do.
One of the first stories I wrote concerned a man who over the course of his life, has so much of his body parts replaced that he's eventually installed into a spaceship and sent on missions.
Let us say that eventually we figure out how to replace organs such as hearts and kidneys with their bionic equivalent. At what point would we stop being human?
Perhaps it's the margarita talking at this point, but I don't think we're heading that way. Oh sure, there will be mechanical modifications to the human body, but as far as replacing everything with metal? Nah...
The sci-fi author in me says we're going to grow our replacement organs. We will become immortal when we can grow tissue such as muscle and bone. No one will have to donate organs. The only thing donated will be the genetic template provided by the donor himself! Healthy DNA will be extracted and cultivated and finally shaped to suit the patients needs.
Scary, no?
While I'm here, there are a few science fiction tropes that will never come about. Sad to admit, but here is the painful truth.
  • Machines will never achieve sentience: We don't even know how we think. Mankind will develop incredibly smart robots and systems that will simulate sentience, but it will never pass a Turing test. I was looking forward to having Artoo Deetoo around the house.
  • Mankind will never break the speed of light: Although I'd love to be proved wrong, I'm going to side with Einstein on this one. Eventually some poor sap is going to pilot a ship that comes close to the speed of light, but that person is in for a world of hurt. Everyone he knows will be gone. He will make the trip out to Alpha Centauri and back, but generations of people will have come and gone by the time he returns. He might be greeted by his descendants... maybe.
  • Phasers, blasters and light sabres: Nope, no way and highly doubtful.
Here's where I think we're going.
  • Intelligent robots who will be extremely intuitive about it's surroundings, but it won't write poetry.
  • What they're doing with quantum physics is very interesting right now. We're not going to engage the warp drive to get to the stars... we're going to teleport there.
  • Shooting a highly charged gas at people might not kill them, but it would piss them off! Sadly, guns will never go out of style.
 
  

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

DOMA-arrigato

So the Supreme Court is going to weigh in on the Defense of Marriage Act and the fate of same sex couples. Is it me, or is this a no-brainer?

Repeat after me: You can't legislate love!

When I first heard of civil unions, I thought; 'why stop there?' Two people who are in love and built a life together, why shouldn't they benefit from the same things heterosexual couples do?
If I were to suddenly keel over and die, my wife would get the house, the car, the bank account, everything. Fair is fair. So why shouldn't George Takai and his husband Brad have the same deal?
What is everyone so upset about? Taxes, property, personal rights and freedoms.
Oh, wait... It's that whole marriage is one man and one woman thing. 
Okay you Bible thumpers/ not-so-closet homophobes... Get over it.
My personal take on this: I think the loudest critics against marriage equality are the ones who are deeply repressing their true feelings.
I laugh the loudest when I hear about the senator with the anti-gay platform getting caught with a male escort. Or the reverend who solicits prostitutes.
A long time ago, to bring a little extra cash into the house, I took a second job at Dairy Queen. Things were doing alright when one day Tammy Faye Baker walks in to my store. I immediately ran to the back and told the manager I couldn't serve her and keep a straight face. As it was, I could barely keep myself from laughing at her and I was behind a closed door. After seeing her in person, I can attest the woman was a walking joke.

If two people fall in love, far be it from me to get in their way. Colbert said it best (and I'm paraphrasing here.) ...Because your happiness isn't taking anything away from my happiness. If I remember right, he was interviewing Neal Patrick Harris, someone else I deeply respect as an upstanding human being.
Yeah, 50 years from now we're all going to sit back and laugh at this... but let's get to year 1 first.
 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Advice?

Today at lunch I got a strange text.

"Hey man! I need some advise."

Yes, I'm typing it as he wrote it. My number formally belonged to a friend's son. Occasionally, I'll get calls like that. I just forward them the new number and off they go. Today I felt a little mischievous.
My first thought was to remind him how to use spell check, but since I'm not that much of a grammar nazi (I hope.) I answered with this:
"What kind of advice?"
"Girl. Asking one i dont know that well out."

I wanted to say 'Puff out your lips, beat your chest and offer to pick the lice from her hair.' no... wait, that's for Gorillas.

"Do you have some thing in common?"
"Idk." (That's slang for 'I don't know'.)
"Well, do you like the same music?"
"Idk."
"Look, talk to her. Find out if she likes the same things you do. Don't ask her straight up if she'll go out with you. She'll get creeped out. Get to know her. By the way, I'm not XXXX. Here is his new number. ###-####
"Awekward. But thanks."
"De nada."

Actually thought he'd have guessed by my sentences and spelling that I wasn't who he thought I was.
Some of my readers can put two and two together and figure out who in the heck I was talking to, they could even show them this post. There was more I wanted to say, but time and fingertips wouldn't allow it.
So this young man saw a girl that rocked his world, but he doesn't know the first thing about her.
First: forget everything you see on TV or in the movies. In reality those moves will only get you a restraining order.
Next: Introduce yourself. Hi, my name is ______, what's yours? 
From this point on: DON'T LIE. You may want to pad your dating resume, but don't. It will come back and bite you in the ass. It always does and it never ends well.
The something in common suggestions above would work at this time.
'Hey, (spots the book she's carrying.) I read that. (sidebar: use this only if you really read the book.)
What chapter are you on?'
Let us say you hear some music coming from her ear buds and you recognize the tune. You could start off with, 'Isn't that _______?' 

So you're nervous and this girl rocks. Does she already have a boyfriend? That's a big point to consider.
I'm going to use a bit of advice from Dan Savage, but I'm going to alter it for the situation. Don't try to get a girlfriend right this instant. Become friends with the girl who is going to become your girlfriend.
Talk to her. Get to know her. Do not ask her out in the first 20 minutes. Not even 30 minutes. After a few days, say something like, 'Hey, wanna go get some ice cream (or coffee as the case may be.)'
This is the no pressure gathering. Do not use the 'D' word.
You may find out that you might not be all that interested in her. She may have different tastes than you. If after a week or two, you decide you like one another and have the same interests, then you can sound out the idea.
'How would you feel if we were to go out?' or whatever the slang is nowadays.
Would it put more pressure on her if you said that, or 'Hey, let's hook up.'
The key is to use as little pressure as possible in a given situation.
Okay I'm presuming she's Drop Dead Gorgeous. Don't you think she has a lot of guys hitting on her and no one have a conversation with?
We had this girl in our high school who was stunningly gorgeous, she was popular and smart... and no one asked her to the prom. Everybody thought someone else had asked her. True story.
So you be the judge, but don't fall into the trap of coming on strong or going to fast. She might think you're interested in something else than being her friend, and she'd be right.
 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Defining disability

Two online conversations happened this weekend. The only common factor was me.
The first discussion was with a gentlemen who was also an amputee. His gripe was about people who used the handicapped carts chiefly because of laziness. I pointed out that just because you can't see the handicap doesn't mean it is less valid. He did have a point about needing a cart to navigate a grocery store. Does his need (no legs) outweigh people who have crippling arthritis or bad knees? Perhaps so.
I think people give up too easily. 
A former co-worker had an artificial leg and he drove a forklift for many years quite well.
My balance is shot, and I have a cane in my garage, but I haven't used it in years. One day, when I'm older, there may come a day when I will need a cane to get around... but not today.

The second discussion is still ongoing. My wife is having an online chat with a dude in England. His contention is that hearing and speaking is the easiest way to communicate with others. His opinion is that cochlear implants are the preferred method for curing deafness. He further contends that being deaf is a disability.
I can't disagree more. This gentlemen is willing to listen to our side of things and he's stated he'd be willing to change his mind on the subject. This gives me hope. I'm so used to dealing with people who won't listen, it's actually refreshing to have an intelligent conversation with someone who will.
So I lost my hearing nearly 15 years ago and got a cochlear implant in order to assist me with re-integrating with the hearing world. 
Knowing what I now know, I wish I hadn't gone through with it. My implant shorted out last week. I've been making my way in the world in the meantime. Shopping, driving, going to the movies, and working. 
You know what? Hearing or not, it wouldn't have made a difference. 
Still would have balanced my checkbook the same way. Would have driven the same way to work. Had the same conversations with customers.
People think of implants as a cure all, but it's not. If anything, using an implant makes life that much tougher for me.
Would I have written my book the same way? Can't say for certain, but I do know that the book wouldn't have had the same perspective.
This week I have to go in front of a judge. I'll be without my hearing. Nothing serious, mind you. I got caught in a speed trap, pure and simple. I'll deal with it one way or another.
I've heard Pink Floyd in concert, why would I want to even try and understand Justin Bieber?
What it boils down to is fear.
Fear of the unknown and what could happen to you simply because you can't hear something. A fire truck drove by just now. I saw it coming. Hope whoever it's for is alright.
I'm not just saying this about myself. Deaf people do not consider themselves handicapped. I am able to hold down a job, pay my bills, own a house and have a successful marriage with kids.
Becoming deaf has taken nothing away from who I am. I've lost nothing.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Consent

Blogspot wouldn't let me continue with my rant after putting those pics up. I just want to sound off on one or two things.
First off: There were scantily dressed girls there ranging from a succubus with wings down to a sexy anime style nurse. I didn't take their picture and I'll tell you why.
I confess, I don't know much about anime. I'm old school in that respect. My point here is costumes like that do not equal consent.
While I feel the person doing this may feel the need for attention, it's the wrong kind of attention. When you dress up like it's Halloween, don't be surprised when the ghouls come out.
Now it is fun to dress up, but you don't have to bare your goodies for everyone to see. Costumes are supposed to be fun. I don't care to know if the carpet matches the drapes.
Every pic I took, I asked them if they would let me take their photo for my blog. Some guys think it's okay to go up and pat Princess Leia on the butt because she's wearing that chain mail bikini. Keep your hands to yourself, someone has to be the adult.
Wanna pat her butt?

or hers?

Yes Virgina, there is a comicon.

We just came back from the comicon. It was so good to see some old friends and make new ones along the way. Of course there are the vintage collectible stuff.
Comics, of course

merchandise

  
toys! I mean... collectibles
Then people came dressed in costume.

Ewok-a, wakka- wakka
That's gotta be hot under there



Continuing our Star Wars theme...

Then we had some costumed cuties
Calling Dr. Who fans

That little wonder woman stole the show
Excellent staff and horns, dude.

 I'd blow a million dollars easy here folks. Some of it is a trip down memory lane. I had the G.I. Joe with the action grip, all the Star Wars and Transformers figurines. All the stuff I grew up with is now vintage collectibles... who'da thunk it? Well, aside from me?
Let's see... did I take any pictures of sexy costumed cosplayers? I purposely did not take pics of the girls dressed up in torn fishnets and busty corsets. You want eye candy like that? Go to a Hooters or topless bar.

Depends on your definition of sexy

 Stone faced         


Friday, June 21, 2013

Story time, mostly true.


There I was, at a bachelor party for a friend due to be married in a few days time. 
The bride had made one stipulation: the party was not to be on the night before the nuptials. Fair enough, I thought. Why do they always accuse me before things happen?
As I sat at the bar with beer in hand, the wedding more than a few days away, I noticed something odd on of the  pole dancers.
It looked like some thing was sticking out of her bikini bottom.
A tag? But it was in the front, along the bikini line. In the dim light, I couldn't be sure unless I stood at the stage she danced on, so I went for a look. It turned out to be a tattoo... Something green. To me it looked like a snakes tail, but I couldn't be sure. Pointing this out to a buddy next to me, he gave me his opinion.
“Dude, it's a vine.” He pronounced. “She has some kind of ivy tattooed to her hoo-ha.”
It didn't quite look like that to me. Shouldn't it then have leaves or something? It had to be a snake. We went back and forth on this with no clear winner on what it was, snake or vine.
“Whoever is wrong buys the winner a beer.” It was the standard guy bet. Seeing no way to resolve this by observation, I went up and asked.
Holding a five dollar bill up, I got her attention.
She must get this question a lot, so I didn't need to explain it too much. “My bud says it's a vine, I say it's a snake. So which is it?”
Without missing a beat of the dance music, she plucked the five from my upheld hand and lowered her bikini for me to see her tattooed crotch in all it's glory.
Above the shaved pubic mound written in green cursive tube lettering were three words:
                                              Take a chance

What everyone saw was the top of the T sticking out of one side and the curve of the E on the other. I returned to my friend and told him.
“We were both wrong, no bet.”

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Complaining about the weather

I've been kicking around an idea since last week: Reviewing businesses that are deaf friendly. So far I've set up another blog called Life in the deaf lane. Nothing is there... yet.
I don't believe in litmus tests, but I also don't believe in absolutes.
Just because one manager of a store is a jerk, doesn't mean the whole staff are assholes too. (That was the wing stop a few days back.)
Also, if the entire staff is willing, but the problem is the computer, then that has to be taken into account as well.
Putting a number on the business is setting something in stone, or in some cases, concrete shoes. I have a saying: Your mileage may vary. With that in mind, I'll do what I do best: I'll write about my experience and publish it to the web. I'll let you guys decide for yourselves and vote with your wallet.

My implant went on the fritz last Friday. No amount of cleaning, cussing or bargaining would bring it back to life. So for this entire week, I've been in silent mode. Driving, working, watching the playoffs... the works. Carol got me an appointment with the doctor... next month. That's as soon as they can get me in. So, it looks like I'll be doing the lip reading thing for a bit. It should be fun.
Today I was brought in to HR. She was concerned if I could still do my job. I told her the job was working out fine, better than I expected. I also told her I didn't think driving a forklift was a good idea and I should not drive one as a precaution.  My license is up for renewal in August anyway.
When I first came to work at Lowe's, I was told that I am not allowed to drive a forklift because of my disability. (I hate that word.) I told my boss I would follow his rule, I didn't have to like it.
Fast forward to this year. The receiving manager went to bat for me and the powers that be allowed me to get a license. That manager is no longer with the company. He had been with the company for over 20 years and they fired him. So much for loyalty. I didn't think they were going to allow me to re-certify anyway. I don't have anyone to go to bat for me this time around.
With that loyalty test last month (which HR denies) and the politics going around, losing my hearing permanently would be just the excuse they're looking for. I'm keeping my head up and not giving them a reason to fire me.  
That said: Lowe's selectively obeys it's own rules. A case can be made for it  being a judgment call.
(where was that last month when you fired the guy with more experience than all the store put together?)
People who don't follow their own rules don't have morals or ethics. I consider those people untrustworthy.
 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A conspiracy

My wife and I got out of the house for a bit, just the two of us. I haven't been on a 'date' with her in so long, I don't remember the last time.
With my implant on the fritz, we relied on our usual lip reading, sign language and eye contact. Hey, don't knock the body language people.
The kind of week I've been having was pretty stressful. I told her where ever we went had to serve beer.
Maybe I've been with the kids for too long. I wanted to eat at a place that doesn't serve happy meals.
We ended up at a sports bar that served snack food BBQ.
My wife and I were immediately shown to a seat and we waited for our server. And we waited. And we waited some more. I should have timed it. We went through one whole set of commercials, part of the game and the next set of commercial started before our server made an appearance. Surrounded as we were by big screen TV's, it shouldn't have been surprising they were playing the previous nights game on TV. I asked them if they could turn on the captions, which no one knew how to do. I'll give him credit, the server did try and adjust the nearest screen, but with no luck.
Which brings me up to my next idea. For the longest time, I've been thinking of starting a second blog devoted to deaf culture stuff. The first thing I want to do is post about 'deaf friendly' businesses.
The Regal Cinemas I mentioned a few posts ago would get a 7 or 8 out of ten. Then this wing stop would get maybe a 5. I'd write up a review like I was some kind of secret shopper. I'd have to come up with some sort of system for the rating, but I think it's do able. What do you all think?
 

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Advances in movie captioning

My wife took me to see Man of Steel for fathers day, which is a pretty nice thing to do.
I used to have to wait until the movie came out on DVD so I could understand what was being said. Movies that have a plot and dialogue are really enjoyable for me. A perfect movie doesn't have to have the latest special effects. Superior acting and a well written story culminating in my suspension of disbelief does the trick. 'Movies that make you think' pretty much sums up what I feel a good movie should be.
With the advent of wi-fi, it is now possible to view a movie on the big screen with the words projected onto a set of glasses worn by the deaf viewer.
However new technology has it's fair share of obstacles. Missed lines. reception that craps out. The computer sending out the signal gets locked up. All of these things are very frustrating for the viewer.
The first movie I saw with open captions was Star Trek: Into darkness. Not all the words were there. An actor on screen would be talking and no words formed underneath him. I could read Zachary Quinto's lips well enough to figure out what was said, but it took away from the movie just a little bit.
I was impressed when two people were captioned at the same time, with the dialogue splitting the screen. For captioning the entire movie I'd give the folks at Regal Cinemas an 8 out of 10.

Going to see the new Superman flick was completely the opposite.

For the first half of the film I only caught about 1/3 of what was being said. At first I was unsure if there was to be actual dialogue. We've all seen movies where the sound is muted on purpose, the hero screams a heart wrenching 'NOOO!' in slow motion, we the audience feel the emphasis of the moment. Then it occurred to me, Russell Crowe is giving his wife instructions. General Zod would declare the council to be disbanded, followed by several people moving their lips and no words coming out. Pretty much lost me after that. Garbled words would pop up for a split second before being replaced by green static. I went to the box office and asked for another pair of glasses, which they readily gave me. This pair didn't want to work at all. I have no idea what's going on. Superman is in handcuffs, which I know he can bust out of, there must be some kind of joke going on. Superman is going to burst out of the cuffs and yell, 'Surprise!' That didn't happen, I don't think. So I went back to speak to the manager. She said she reset the computer and see if that helps. I did... sort of. I got the complete dialogue from the beginning of the movie... right at the climax.
Imagine Darth Vader wheezing and interrogating a rebel officer, 'Where is the Rebel base?' just as Luke is flying down the Death Star trench.

And people wonder why I lose my temper!

Mary Malcom, the manager of the Regal Cinemas in Live Oak, Texas refunded my ticket and gave me two passes so my wife and I might try this again. She was in the unenviable position of dealing with an irate customer, namely me. I just want to clear the air: Mrs. Malcom did everything in her power to help me. These unfortunate incidents were something beyond her direct control.
I am calling out Regal Cinemas to look into the open captioning service they are offering. Providing open captioning is a great step forward in improving the audience experience. Just think how much more money Regal Cinemas would be making if the technology worked reliably?

Fathers day

With all the busy stuff going on in our lives, we can lose track of what's important.
My wife and daughter reminded me Fathers day was coming up. On the one hand, I needed to do something for my father and my dad. That looks funny writing that down... maybe I should back up for a second.
My father lives in the UK and is married to a wonderful lady whom I adore to pieces.
My dad lives in Anchorage, Alaska and is married to my mom.
Both men had a big influence on me growing up.
My father taught me how to ride a bike down a dirt road in New Hampshire.
My dad taught me how about camping and hiking.
Father took me to ball games and played catch.
Dad played cards and showed me how to drive.

Both have a spectacular work ethic. They showed me how to love and live. Now I'm the dad with kids of my own. Holy crap on a cracker, where did the time go?
I taught them to ride bikes and we've gone camping. I've yet to teach them how to drive. I keep telling myself they'll learn the basics from drivers ed. and maybe get some pointers from me. Yeah, that's it.
We've gone to high school games and spent quality time together.
I owe all that to the men who showed me how to do it.
Thanks to both my dads who live a world away, but they're close to my heart.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Caucasion confessions

My last post was a little on the thin side for for me. I've been working on a post for Fathers day. Game 4 of the NBA finals figured in there as well.
While I won't bore you people with the game, armchair jocks with better sports knowledge can club you into submission. 
I want to talk about something that happened just before the game.
Sebastian De La Cruz, a 10 year old mariachi singer performed the national anthem. Dressed in traditional mariachi garb, he belted out the Star Spangled Banner.
I didn't see anything wrong with that and he did a great performance.

Then the trolls came out and the feces laden twitters were said.
So what did the Spurs do? They invited him back to sing at the next game. Mad props for that.
Taking a quick look at my cliff notes. 
The boy is American. 
His dad served in the Navy.
He made it to the semi-finals on Americas Got Talent.
Would the same people have said something if a German man dressed in leiderhosen came out and sang? By the way, a polka-tized Star Spangled Banner would be hysterical to see.
I Brought this up in a previous post: Hispanics are the fastest growing 'minority' in the US, So what?
We all came from somewhere else to live in America. Human memory is very short.

This could have happened a century or two ago:
Two Irishmen were walking down the road near their village. One turned to the other and said something like this:
'Seamus, I hear there's work and a chance to start a family over in America.'
'You know,' said the other. 'You're right. it'll be hard work. We'll die starving and alone if we stay here. I'd rather go where there's a fighting chance.'

No one has ever come to America on a whim.
"Oh Pierre, I'm feeling like I want to be an American from now on." said no Frenchmen ever.

 If you love where you're born, and can scrape together a living. You tend to stay put.
Many people fail to grasp the basic economics of the situation.
If there were jobs in Mexico and none in the US, don't you think we'd be the ones swimming across the stream?
My wife is having trouble finding a teaching job here in Texas. There are many reasons for that, but if a job offer materialized in another state, don't you think we'd grab it?
If other states have jobs in your field, wouldn't you move there?

Exposure to other cultures is also a factor. I'm fairly certain none of my ancestors were of Italian decent.
But I wish they were.
As a youth, I was witness to a lot of Italian culture. Food. Family. Beliefs. Culture.
My respect for all things Italian only grew as I matured.
I lucked out by befriending several people who were Italian. The memories and stories they told I will cherish forever. 
While working at Disney World, I shared an apartment with Stephano Cherchi, a native of Florence. Many discussions and shared memories were had, and I enjoyed having Stephano as a friend. After we left our shared apartment, I fell on some hard times. Stephano called me asking for a favor and I was too embarrassed of my situation to help him. That was wrong of me. If I ever ran into him again, I promised myself I'd make it up to him. He's a good person and my life was better for knowing him.

So here I am, years down the line. A bit older, perhaps a bit wiser. When I see pictures of people trying to cross the border. I don't see people looking for hand outs. I see desperate people looking for a fighting chance to live.

First and foremost: they are people. Humans. Would I shovel a ditch or clean toilets in order to support my family?
Bet your ass I would.
Now I won't deny there are people who abuse the system, but in all my travels, all the people I've met, a fighting chance is all that is asked for.

Bums at the street corner will never get change from me. Occasionally I will scold them, berate and tell them to go get help.
My family were having lunch at Burger King one day. A man came up to our table and held a sign up.
the sign read: I'm deaf and hungry, please help me.
Using sign language, I responded. Have you no pride? I'm deaf too. I work. I fight. I don't give up.
Surprise formed on his face. 
Do you take drugs or drink? I asked in ASL.
He responded 'yes'.
I told him to lay off the stuff, it'll kill him. Then I wrote down the name of the deaf center here in town. If he got there, they would send him to where he could get help.
Way long ago, I came out of a grocery store in El Paso. Outside there was a homeless man holding a rusted out gas can. He was asking for change so he could get some gas. The whole situation was funny because I could clearly see the holes in the can.
I said; "I've got a gas card and the Diamond Shamrock is just over there. C'mon, I'll fill you up."
He said, "Naw, naw. That's alright. Just give me the money."
Nope. You want booze? Drugs? Can't help you.
I've filled people's gas cans when they're truly down and out. I will get out of my car and help you push yours uphill.
You want to drink yourself stupid or shoot up? You're on your own.
I give hand ups, not hand outs.
 
 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Bacholer Party

One of my good friends was getting married in Louisville. Being the kind of friend I am, something special needed to be done. This is one of those cross country setups that surprisingly went off right.
All the male attendees except the groom knew what was planned. The bride sensed something was up. She came up to me and gave me an ultimatum:
'If I smell alcohol on his breath, the wedding is off.'
Never mind I could have worked around that if I wanted. Instead, the guys had the muddy kind of fun.
That morning we all met down in the hotel lobby dressed in fatigues. When the groom came down, saw us, and immediately went back upstairs for some black sweats.
Driving out to a place I'd never been to, in a part of the U.S almost none of us were familiar with, we found our destination.
"See that mountain over there?" the owner said. All of us nodded.
"That there river?" All of us looked at the creek down at the bottom of the hill.
"And the highway over yonder." We all nodded again. Those were the boundaries.
"The first annual meeting of the groom hunt will commence!"
We loaded our paintball guns. "My friend, we're going to give you a five minute head start."
The groom in his black sweats took off across the field. 
I'd like to say we waited the whole five minutes, but I'm not sure.
After the initial hunt, we formed teams and did a little capture the flag. Not sure if we used a flag though...
Blood, Sweat, mud and paintballs. Good clean, slightly painful fun.
Good times.
 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Defeat and victory

I was tempted to call this entry 'One step forward, two steps back'.

The Good: The Spurs performed like the team they are and lead the series 2-1.
The Bad: My air conditioner crapped out again. It's running fine, but I suspect a freon leak. I still have the receipt from two months ago when we had it fixed the first time.

What's Great: I finally figured out how to make a game I like work under the Linux OS that I use on this computer.
What's Crappy: This morning I downloaded and upgraded to the latest version of Ubuntu. Now I can't get the game to work again. Back to the drawing board...

The High point: Got some fantastic writing in this weekend, but...
The Low point: Couldn't take my laptop with me this morning because it was still downloading and installing stuff.

My truck is street legal and registered, but my paycheck this Friday is going to all those lovely bills that are piling up.
You see? We all have our highs and lows. I'm merely having them in rapid succession.

Daughter #2 is safely in the UK and she's already having a blast. My dad only received a mild concussion. Go easy on him kid, he's out of warranty.
Daughter #3 will be leaving the day after tomorrow for the Great White North. We'll miss them both.
 
I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to grab a tube and head to the river. This is the place you want to go. This is what you'll do there.

"Oh, honey can we go please?"

 

 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

updates

Looking back over the last few posts, I wanted to touch base on a few items.
1. My Spurs are playing game 2 of the NBA finals against the Miami Heat. We are up 1-0. Take that LeBron!
2. Scientists discover Asteroid 2013 LR6 just a day before it's closest approach of 65,000 miles (I'm going to round that off to 104 thousand kilometers.)
For the scientifically challenged: the moon is 230,000 miles away. The reason they didn't track it sooner? Lack of time. It was going too fast! Read about the whole thing here. I just want to say now: Called it.
3. Put daughter #2 on the plane for a month in jolly ol' England. She's coming. This will be your first and last warning.
#3 will go in the opposite direction to Alaska on Thursday. Authorities and FEMA have been notified.
4. Still happily deaf, unhappily strapped for cash. Situation normal. One of my rechargable batteries is almost done for. Down to two now. I will probably take the recharger to work with me and recharge one while I'm wearing the other. These guys last an average of 4 hours. You do the math.
5. Spider mites have invaded my oregano. Quick, get the insecticidal soap!
6. I figured out how to install a Java Runtime Environment on this Linux machine. For non-geeks out there ignore this paragraph. Now if I could just get Minecraft to work...
7. I'm fixing to write out a couple of short stories that have sat on the back burner for too long.
My job is interfering with my work!
 

Saturday, June 8, 2013

What I avoid talking about

Every so often, I ask my children what they want to be when they grow up. As a parent, it's fascinating to watch the answer change over time.
My oldest is on a psychiatry bent right now. We'll see how that shapes up down the road.
For the longest time daughter number 2 wanted to be a teacher, despite witnessing first hand the absolute hell we're going through trying to get my wife a job as a teacher.

The other day, daughter #2 surprised me.

"I want to open a place where deaf people can get together like a community center, but more," she said. "There is so much deaf people can do, but the hearing world limits them." she went on to explain her concept to me of a cultural center, job training facility, and all around think tank based around empowering deaf children.
A formidable task indeed. I told her I didn't think such a thing ever existed outside of deaf schools. Not that I'm surprised, she's so smart that creating a job title or career lifestyle shouldn't surprise me. Simply put: my kid rejects the status quo and substitutes her own. 
I talked to a few people I know in the deaf community and I'm going to communicate with others on her behalf. Not only do I think it's worthwhile and feasible, I think it's about damn time something like that came about.

Some of you know I lost my hearing in an accident years ago. It was a long hard struggle to adapt and rejoin mainstream society. That struggle continues and will always be an uphill battle for me.
Right after my accident, I found out who my real friends were. Some came out of the woodwork to stand by my side and show their support, others would sit across a table and not know how to talk to me. It took a while, but I'm okay with that.
I consider myself honorary deaf (with a small 'd').
Not being raised culturally Deaf, I have a small rare insight into what it means to be Deaf.
I have to work around things people take for granted, such as the telephones and going to the movies. Plug your ears really good and go through a drive through... I dare you. 
Stuff normal people do online, such as renewing a drivers license, I have to show up in person. Here's a revelation: the deaf do not consider themselves handicapped or disabled.
It took me six years to get a job after my accident. Now I'm not blaming the economy or anyone else. I did odd jobs and manual labor to bring something in, but a real honest to goodness regular paycheck took me six years to get.
I still remember the interviews. As soon as I mentioned I was hearing impaired, or deaf, the whole demeanor of the interviewer changed.
"But isn't there a Disability Act, or something?"
Yes, there is. And what a toothless, loophole filled bunch of crap it is.
Let me give you a prime example.
I needed an adapter for my implant that would allow me to speak on the phone with my vendors and customers. The first two I bought at my expense and they served me well, but they wore out after a few years.
Lowe's was all too happy to buy me a new one. It would help me do my job better and allow me to serve customers better. If you could just have a doctor fill out this form...
My audiologist and Ear Medical Group, who has the records, doesn't fill out forms like that. Perhaps if I saw my regular physician...
I made an appointment with a doctor and explained my predicament. Without batting an eye, he explained, "This is my first time seeing you. I didn't perform the surgery that installed that implant. Perhaps someone else could fill out the form."
Everyone says they want to help and follow the law, but by putting in that clause, they're off the hook and aren't required to help.
People are too busy pointing the finger or passing the buck, rather than get out there and actually do something constructive.
And they wonder why I don't come in for regular checkups
Right now, I'm listening to my kids play a game while my wife makes lemonade in the kitchen. In about two hours, my battery will die and I'll be 'in silent mode'.
At night. When I shave or shower. Whenever my rechargeable batteries die... I'm deaf.
I don't have a window into the deaf world. My implant allows me a window into the hearing world.
I did try and resume my old life, but I ran into too many obstacles.
  • Concerts being given by my favorite bands and not being able to understand the songs.  
  • Movies, plays, speeches. 
  • Videos on You Tube.
  • Talking with friends on the phone.
  • Podcasts.
  • Pillow talk.
  • Running a role playing game. 
  • Bike riding. 
Pretty depressing, huh? Here's what I gained:
  • Walks with my wife and kids.
  • Family board game nights.
  • Humility.
  • A stronger marriage. My wife and I learned there is more than one form of communication.
If someone came up to me telling me they had a miracle cure, they would restore my hearing. I'm not so sure I'd want it back.

If you read this far, I'm sure you're wondering how bike riding made it to my no more list. That's simple: no fluid in the middle ears, so no balance. For a former gymnast losing his balance is like a pianist losing his hands. might as well put running up there too, I haven't been able to do that for a while. When I say I had to rebuild my life from scratch, I meant it.

Keeping my sense of humor has been essential, otherwise I'd turn into this angry bitter deaf man, and that's not what I'm about.
I have grieved over the part of me that has died and moved on.
I don't make a big deal of it because I've had to become a better person because of this.
When I come in contact with a person who knew me from before my accident, there is a courtesy to inform them of what's happened. Other than that, I'm try not to mention it because it doesn't define me. I'm too busy redifining what it means to be deaf.