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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Chainsaws and clearing

Tomorrow is our brush pick up day. All this week my neighborhood has been trimming trees, hiring landscapers and on a few occasions make it a family get together. Trees get cut back, lawns get mowed, folks gather for some post Labor day fixins.
Today was the day I set aside for this chore. Starting in the front yard with shears, branch trimmers and a small saw, I soon realized I was in over my head. I'd spent a good chunk of the morning clearing the brush. I needed some force multiplication. Time to get out the chain saw. Having used the remaining oil to repair my hydraulic jack a couple of months ago (channeling my inner McGuyver.), I had to make a store run. I also needed a new chain. Even though I got the right one in the right length, the thing wouldn't stay on for more than 30-45 seconds. 'Did I put this thing on backwards?' As I read the instructions again, I double checked everything. Still, it wouldn't stay taut. The chain wouldn't stay in the guide groove. After the fifth or sixth time of taking it apart/putting it back together, I began to feel the anger rise. Smashing the chainsaw with my sledgehammer suddenly seemed like a good idea. I walked away from the work bench, gathered my tools and put it all back where it belonged. There's a large pile of branches ready to be taken away. Not as big as it could have been, but this way I didn't Hulk out. I'll let my subconscious gnaw on what could have been wrong. I might need to replace the arm, or whatever you call that big phallic looking thing sticking out of the chain saw. (Can't un-see that now, huh?)
So the yard work got 75% done. You win a reprieve this time you weeds pretending to be trees. Next up, I'm going to get some top soil for the front lawn along with some grass seed. I'm sick of looking at it. Do I know if that is the right thing to do? Well, I've tried everything else. watering and adding peat moss yielded new kinds of weeds. Feeding and encouraging the existing grass sort of worked, but it didn't spread. Time to redo the whole thing. If that works on the front, I can try something similar for the back. I'm also going to start looking at porch designs. It's time to let my inner Tim Allen out and do a little home carpentry.

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