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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

vacation, had to get away...

A portion of our tax refund went into getting a rental car for getting the hell out of town. My parents have generously given us their time share in Orlando, Florida, for spring break. Carol and I haven't had a breather like this in years. It won't be all relax and unwind, though. Carol's dad is very sick and I hope we get there before things get worse.
One of my closest friends is splitting up with his wife of over 20 years. Right now I can't say what it's about, I don't have the whole story. All that can be said is I'm sad when something like that happens. I thought they had their act together. I'm going to mainly sit, listen and be supportive without taking sides.
Over the years Carol and I have been together, I've asked for a divorce twice. We argued and had some pretty hardcore fights. When things calmed down, we talked constructively. We even went to therapy for a re-tuning of our relationship.
Let's face facts: People grow apart. Divorces happen. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. There were some ups and downs, but we all came out the other side intact. (For the most part.) Both my mom and dad asked me if I ever wished they would get back together.
That statement is resoundingly false.
I wanted the fighting to stop, that's all. Cessation of hostilities. Go to your separate corners. Even if those corners are in different states. What would work on a sitcom, wouldn't fly in reality.
When I graduated high school, my father came to town and had dinner with my mom and stepfather. During that whole meal, I felt like I was sitting next to a bomb about to go off. I wanted nothing more than these polar opposites far away from each other. To give them both credit, they behaved themselves. That night prayers were answered. No hospital visits or therapy were needed.
Nowadays, when they're in the same room, I relax a little more. Perhaps they mellowed.
Carol and I are friends first. If something is bothering the other, (usually me.) We talk about it. I've learned not to bottle things up. I'm still working on that, but it's a whole lot better than what it used to be.
There is still so much the two of us have in common.
Both of us like Jackie Chan movies and enjoy Jimmy Buffet.  We're capable of doing things separately as well as together, we complement each other. We get each others jokes and have the same twisted sense of humor. She is my confidant.
When we do argue, there is a plus side: the make up sex is awesome.

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