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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Crises

My father in law is going into hospice tomorrow. He has stage IV cancer and has been holding himself up pretty well. Under the excuse of he doesn't want to worry anyone, he doesn't let his family know. We only find these things out when we call, but that's a touch and go situation. In a perfect world, I'd fire up the Lear jet and have a rental waiting for the family when we get to Florida.
Reality intrudes. I feel a tiny bit guilty for moving so far away from her parents. I like them, I truly do. My wife was very close to her father, moving away put a strain on that. We can make all the arguments we want. The jobs. Following our dreams. Raising our kids. At times I wonder if I made the right choice by moving away. 

Now that I've returned home from work, I've gotten a few more details. He's been in the hospital since the beginning of the month and we just recently found out. He has refused treatment and is choosing to go to a hospice tomorrow. He has internal hemorrhaging and is loosing blood as fast as they can replace it. Brave man that he is, my father in law has said 'enough'.
Few of us can choose our time. I'm lucky to have known him for the time I did. My wish is that he gets the peace he's been searching for. Funerals are for the living and if money were no object as I said, we would both go. My daughters want to remember their grandfather as he was. They do not wish their last memory of him to be bedridden and hooked up to life support. That said, they would wish to pay their respects, as would I.
We're looking into a couple of options and if we're only able to send one person, then that would be my wife. She deserves this. 

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