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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Never mistake malice for stupidity. People may seem like they're being shitty and mean toward you, but in reality they're just ignorant little pissants. There is this manager at my work who I began to suspect she had it in for me. I kept telling myself, she was just doing her job. Weeks and months would go by, I would keep to myself, work hard, and let the details sort themselves out. She has forced me to re-evaluate that first sentence. 
I'm sure she's a nice mother, grandmother, and wife. Well... I'm sure she's a mother. Whenever she tells me to do something, she ends it with a crocodile smile. Ignoring that eat crap and die grin isn't easy, it's her little way of saying 'fuck you'. Technically she is my boss. She isn't my superior. That list is very short, but I'm sure she isn't on it. She is also the one responsible for forcing me to 'voluntarily' step down from my management job. I'm chalking that experience up to a deal made under duress. We see this all the time in retail. If the people in charge like you, opportunities for advancement open up. If some of the higher ups decide they don't like you, then you languish in purgatory, your life becomes miserable until you get fed up and find work elsewhere. Then it's not their fault, you see. No one got their hands dirty and the 'undesirable' is gone. When I did step down, I had to write a letter explaining it was my idea. (Ha!) and in no way is Lowe's responsible or liable. I did write that with a straight face. In truth, I was tired of fighting for my job. Three years, perhaps more, of being under the microscope was getting on my nerves. They were looking for an excuse to fire me for a long time. The reason I cited in the letter was my hearing had degenerated to the point that I could no longer serve customers to my satisfaction. While trying to take the high road on this, I voiced my dissatisfaction with Lowe's and their 'all inclusive' environment. Speaking from experience, I can assure you it's all lip service and bullshit.
But I don't let that pull me down! As of this week, I've sold 30 books. That's great and I'll feel better when a couple of zeroes are on the end of that number. For strict word of mouth, that's not bad. This weekend I'm going to do a little research on how to market and promote the book. If all I had to look forward to was my crappy job at Lowe's, I'd have gone off the deep end. What makes this torture bearable is that I'm plotting to escape. So yeah, I totally identify with Steve McQueen in The Great Escape. I can put up with the gestapo commandants because I'm secretly digging the tunnel out of the death camp. Retail stores are where living souls go to die.

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